


Scenes from a Happily Ever After

by Blownwish



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, WAFF, Yaoi, sugar coma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 20:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish/pseuds/Blownwish
Summary: The coffee was good, the sex was even better. Sometimes they were late to work, but General Mustang and Colonel Elric made one hell of a power couple.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I promised something happy after writing a very long, tearjerker of an angstfest. Lo, and behold! It is here. Warning: this thing is a sugar overload.

His coffee was good, his good-morning sex was even better, but sharing the bathroom with Edward was terrible. He tended to used up all the hot water, then leave clutter all over the the sink when he shaved and brushed his teeth. But it wasn't completely terrible: Roy liked to take his time brushing Edward's hair (would the gentleman prefer ponytail or braid?) but only got the chance when they were not running late, which they were. 

“That's my shirt.”

“Don't put it on my side if you don't want me to wear it.” Edward passed it over. “You gonna come by my office this morning?”

“Maybe.” Roy finished buttoning Edward's shirt as soon as he was done with his in a last ditch effort to make time while Ed tied his hair back. “Depends on what you have in mind.”

Edward pulled out two jackets. “Oh, the usual. Deep throating, snowballing, reviving Ishval’s economy.” They stepped out of the walk in closet to shrug them on. “You in?”

“I just might consider it, Colonel.” Roy tipped up his chin, then kissed him gently with a smile. “When are you going to clean up after yourself? That sink was a mess.”

Edward kissed him back. “Bite me, loser.”

++

Edward liked to move. He bobbed and weaved from the desk to the chalkboard to cabinets to bookshelves, while data was verbally crunched and reworked in constant litanies. General Mustang never made him come upstairs. No, he loved coming to Colonel Elric’s office; Edward in his element was something else. 

“So, I finally got the last of the pre-war data this morning.” Edward began tapping out another data set on the crude map he drew on his board. “It corroborates the current findings. See, this area isn't dry. Neither are the surrounding ones. But, from what I saw for myself in the field, and the historical evidence, there is even be more-” he dotted “- in the west.”

“Are you sure?”

Edward beamed. “Positive. Ishval is sitting in a fucking sea of oil. They're not just going to be self sufficient, they're going to be one of the richest countries in history.”

“Amazing.”

“Now the Fürher _has_ to approve your aid proposal. It's not charity. It's a diplomatic investment.” Edward caught the chalk he tossed in the air and beamed like a million watt bulb. 

This was exactly, _exactly_ what they needed. Ishval would be able to support her people, independently. What a relief! Roy wanted to kiss Edward, right then, and right there. 

Roy took the chalk out of his hand and rubbed his thumb against the his palm. “Say, Colonel, you ravishing creature, you’re even more ravishing when you’re revitalizing a nation.”

Edward smirked when Roy began fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve. “Is this the part where you give me head and fuck me into the floor for doing such a crackerjack job?”

“I think so.” Roy titled his head as his finger lightly traced Edward’s wrist. “Isn’t that what we did the last time you saved the Ishvalan economy?”

Edward nodded. “You always suck and fuck me after I save economies, which I do every Thursday morning. Don’t you even notice this shit?”

“I hate when I forget that.” Roy shook his head and sighed, oh-so-deeply. 

Fulman walked in on them, laughing together. 

++

Edward was reading a letter from the envelope tagged dozens of postage stamps. Normally Roy would've reminded him that lunch was not the time to ignore others (especially him) in the mess hall, but this was a letter from Alphonse, which meant _do not disturb_. So he carefully cut the crust off Edward’s ham and rye (and suffered Hawkeye’s eye rolling during the process) while patiently waiting. 

“How is Xing?” Roy finally asked when he put it down to attacked his sandwich. “And, by the way, you're welcome.”

“Al got married - _again_.” Roy did not need to see masticated food, but Edward was compelled to talk with his mouth full. “This makes five. And wife number two is pregnant, by the way. How many wives and kids does he need, anyway? I don't get it!”

“At least it's not cats.”

“I wish it was!” Edward cradled his head. “Oh my god! His dick’s going to fall off, and I'm going to have a tribe of nephews and nieces at this rate! What the hell am I going to do when he comes home?”

“Book a nice hotel.” Roy caught his eye and smiled. “For us, down in Parvay. Me, you and a little hot spring for two.” Roy put his sandwich to his lips and winked. “We can practice making our own babies.”

Edward snorted. “You be the pregnant one.” 

“Seriously, Edward, don't worry too much about it. We’ll manage something. And besides, wouldn't you like to see him, again?”

He knew he would. Edward missed his brother, terribly. “I'm just so used to the idea of having Al all to myself. Now he's got this fucking village attached to him.”

“How many concubines, does he have, along with the wives? Eighteen?”

Edward rubbed his face. “Oh my god! Don't even mention the others. Five wives is bad enough.”

“I wonder if he has a schedule? Maybe one of them keeps it for him? A sexual secretary?” 

“Wait, are we talking about the same Alphonse, here?” Havoc was skeptical, and Roy didn't blame him one bit. “You got a recent picture, Boss?”

Alphonse just so happened to send one. Edward slid it across the table. “See for yourself.”  
_Kindness in a Can_ had become one of the most prodigious heterosexuals of modern times: Alphonse was was a tall, vigorous analogue to Edward’s elfin charms, beaming around a bevy of beautiful women. 

“Holy shit…” His unlit cigarette twitched. “He's like some kinda sex god!” 

Edward snatched it back, immediately. 

“How old is your daughter, Fulman? Sixteen?” Roy shook his head. “I'll give you ample warning, before Alphonse arrives, so you can send her out of town.”

Edward groaned. 

++

Roy put his head on Edward’s lap, as Havoc pulled their car out of Eastern Command’s main gate. “What are you making for dinner?” He smiled up at the wonder that was his _very_ significant other. 

“I'm so glad you asked.” Edward tapped his chin. “I was going to pull a recipe book you never saw before right out of my ass, and give you a big bowl of fuck no.” 

“You want steak?” Roy grabbed his hand. “I'll fire up the grill.”

Edward nodded and tapped Roy’s nose. “Steak and potatoes. Lots of butter. And maybe salad.”

“No maybe. Salad is mandatory.”

Havoc cleared his throat. “You want me to swing by the market, Chief?”

“Just drop me off there and take this loser home.” Edward stuck his tongue out at Roy. “I'll walk back to the house when I'm done.”

“Sure?”

“Absolutely!” Roy turned his head. “He's not to spend any time alone with you!”

Edward threw his head back and laughed. “It was just one time, and that was years ago, man!”

“And it's never going to happen again.” Roy bopped him on the nose. “He's a bad influence.”

Havoc snorted. “Look who's talking! General Craddle Robber over here?”

Roy sat up. “He was sixteen years old when I caught you two! The legal age is eighteen!”

“Like you waited til he was eighteen?” Havoc and Edward both laughed at that. 

Regardless! Roy was having none of this. He reached over the driver’s seat with his thermally lined glove and pinched Havoc’s cigarette out. “A risk is a risk. Edward will not smoke.” 

“Hey! So why'd you put mine out, Chief?”

Edward called Roy out: “Control freak.” But, he did let him lay his head back down on his lap. He even combed his fingers through Roy’s hair. 

++

“Man, oh man.” Edward patted his belly and stretched his legs out on the sofa. “I'm so stuffed.” Roy stood over him, arms crossed, wondering how the hell such a diminutive man could take up all that space. “What? You wanna sit?”

“No, I want to stand here watching you digest food. Move,” he smiled, “if you could be so kind.”

Edward rolled his eyes, moaned and groaned about his belly and his leg and loser bastards as he made room for Roy to snuggle up behind him. “You need to buy a second sofa.”

“And miss out on this?” Roy pulled him back and nuzzled his neck. “Would you care to swap bodily fluids?”

“Lame!” 

Roy tucked Edward’s hair behind his ear to bite his lobe. “You were brilliant, today.”

“This, I already know. But don't let that stop you.” Edward arched his back and wiggled his ass deliciously against him. 

“Your findings are going to uplift hundreds of thousands of people living in poverty. You're amazing, Edward.”

He squeezed Roy’s hand. “Thanks.” It was a soft, quiet sound. “I really hope so.”

“I want you to have something.” He pulled Edward’s hand back toward his pants. “It's very personal and private.”

“Oh, I bet...”

Then he shoved it into his pants pocket. Roy pressed his fingers around it. Edward gasped. “Go ahead,” Roy whispered. “I want you to have it.” 

Edward sat up, holding it. “Seriously?”

Roy sat up and took a deep breath. “Very seriously, Edward. Please?”

He didn't know what to make of it when Edward bolted into their bedroom. Was he overcome? Embarrassed? Annoyed? Roy read Edward like a book these days, but sometimes, just sometimes, he still got things terribly, horribly wrong.

Maybe, just maybe, Edward wasn't ready for something like this. Roy knew it was asking a lot to give him that sort of thing, but he didn't think he would run away. 

Roy began to pace. 

“Okay.” Edward was back, and flushed and smiling and - oh, good! Smiles were good, very good! Roy smiled back, feeling his heart rate come back to something close to normal. “First - wow. And second -” 

He gave it back. 

What the hell? Roy was a man, a soldier, a god damn veteran. He'd been hurt before and he'd be hurt again. But he never expected Edward to smile while he crushed him. 

“No fair.” Edward held his up his own. “If you're going to give me yours, you're getting mine, too.” Roy thought he was going to choke when his throat closed up. 

Oh, that brilliant, beautiful _little shit!_

They stood in front of the picture window, surrounded by stacks of books and dirty dishes, solemnly staring into each other's eyes as they exchanged pocket watches.

Roy cradled Edward’s in his hands. “I don't know what to say.”

“Me neither, dipshit.” Edward reached for him. “So don't say a fucking thing. C’mere.” And he kissed him, breathlessly, shuddering as Roy gathered him in his arms, like the precious gift he was, and kissed him back. “You’re such a loser, you know that?”

“Duly noted.”

++

“Let’s never do that, again.”

Edward’s coffee was good, but his idea was terrible. “Sex in the shower should come with a warning.” Roy almost cracked his skull against the porcelain tub; he took the brunt of their fall when Ed tried to wrap his legs around him. “Are you done with the shaving cream?”

“Yeah.” Edward handed it over and finished lathering up. “You gonna talk to Fürher Grumman, about the Ishval plan, today?”

“Maybe.” Roy started working his own . “Are you going to be under my desk while I make the call?”

Edward turned to catch the thicker stubble near his jawline. “Guess you don't want me bent over your desk, again, huh?”

“You mess up my paperwork when you do that.” Roy always began with his upper lip. 

Edward was already working on his. “Aw! But I like messing up your paperwork!” He rinsed his razor, took Roy’s out of his hand, and took over. 

Roy’s breath hitched when Edward’s fingers, ever-so-lightly, skimmed across his chest. Carefully, Edward shaved Roy’s jaw and chin, just as he did, years before, when Roy first taught him how. He caught Edward’s hand after he finished and rinsed the blade.

“Good?” Edward asked him. 

Roy said nothing. He didn't have to. He leaned in to taste his lips, slowly, until Edward’s mouth opened, and let him in. They kept kissing when Roy backed him up against the sink, and kept kissing as he lifted him up and placed Edward there, spread his legs and touched him, cupped him, stroked him. They kept kissing, as Edward touched him and - oh, god! - his hands! Right there! Edward! Sweet, beautiful, brilliant Edward, everywhere, everything, always - _yes!_ They kept kissing and kissing, frantically, desperately, shivering against each other's lips as their bodies arched and the agonizing tip of oblivion pushed them over. They fell into each other, and that was when they broke the kiss, panting and smiling into each other's eyes. 

They were late to work, again.


End file.
